What, Why, and How to Forgive, part one

Crosspost from Ruth: http://gleaningthefields.com/2012/04/04/forgive-part-one/

5 thoughts on “What, Why, and How to Forgive, part one

  1. Pingback: Forgiveness: An Act Of Obedience « bummyla

  2. The strange thing about forgiveness is that when I don’t forgive (and I mean “let it go”, not “oh, that’s ok”) resentment and an unsettledness take over my brain. I will have imaginary conversations where I am witty and wicked in my replies and I feel somehow victorious. The problem is that I can’t get them to stop playing over and over. So in fact, I am allowing that person to have a measure of control over me by not letting go. I need to acknowledge the offense and not give an opportunity for a repeat, but it is up to me to let it go. Sometimes it takes several times a day of saying, “let it go”. And there have been times when I have prayed, “I don’t want to let this go because this person needs to pay so God, give me grace to even WANT to begin to let this go”. It is a long process isn’t it? And if it involved somebody I loved being hurt, it would be a billion times more difficult. I read a quote the other day. It went something like this…”Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” What do you think of that quote?

  3. I LOVE that quote! And you’ve touched on another thing that forgiveness is NOT. Forgivness does not make everything ok, and it’s not minimizing pain. Those will come into the picture soon as I revew ths book. Like you, I have prayed for the Grace to even want to forgive. I’ve prayed for my enemies. Previous to all this coming out, my petitions were sufficient. But in order to help the children face their traumas, We have had to face our own. The cyclical nature of abuse and dysfunction have come into brutal focus. Memories that used to be mysteries become clear, and painful. And suddenly I find myslft with an entire lifetime of pain on the surface that I must face, overcome, resolve, and forgive. If I can’t manage, then I pass the cycle on to the boys. So by Grace, I’ve been led to some tools–specialty tools. Not everyone will need these tools. Often prayer and a willing heart are enough. But they are no longer enough for us. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. I can’t tell you of thewonderful comebacks I make in my head. The problem is, there are times we really just vocalize those comebacks, not to be hurtful, but to be direct, honest and set good boundaries.

  4. Pingback: what, Why, and How to Forgive, part three « Gleaning the Fields

  5. Pingback: What, Why, and How to Forgive, part three « Gleaning the Fields

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